And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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