about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
