if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
