The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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