I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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