I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
