Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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