I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
