I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
