Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize