im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
