so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
