I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
