Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
