Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
