i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
