Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
