She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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