My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
