kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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