I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
