had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize