You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
