the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
honey bunches of taint.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
