I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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