I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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