Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
