Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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