So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My life is pants optional.
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