Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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