God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize