You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
