i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
where are you?
Hypothermia
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize