I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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