I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Let's paint friendship bongs
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
