Non-Jews are for practice
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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