I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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