we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
