i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Drunk is not a location!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
