did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Pooping to opera.
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