Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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