There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
