omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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