I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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