yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize