I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
