normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
