So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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