I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Drake has all the answers
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
