I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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