I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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