I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
