after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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