If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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