she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
