Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
