OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
