The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
