WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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