Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
