So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
