haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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