Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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