he puts the penis in happiness.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize