apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
