I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
