i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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