Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
