I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
