i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
