I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
