You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The Olympian is in my bed
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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