Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I need to sanitize my soul.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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