Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
