Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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