Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
