Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
