Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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