I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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