that's an acceptable place to lick
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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